Tag Archive for 'Charity Fickisen'

Domestication Proclamation

Whereas, on the thirteenth day of August, in the year of our Lord two thousand and seven, a proclamation was issued by Rick, containing, among other things, the following, to wit:

“That on the twenty-third day of July, in the year of our Lord two thousand and seven, I have accepted that I then, thence forward, and forever shall be domesticated; and Tiffany, as the executive government of the household, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such person and will do no acts or act to repress such person in any efforts they may make for his actual freedom. I accept valiant courage and steadfast will all things suburban such as grill assembly, lawn mowing, car washing, laundry sorting, frame hanging, proper toilet seat positioning, table manners, cleanliness, heavy lifting, wine bottle opening and all tool using.”

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Strippers Trade Poll For Podium

Ohio strippers are fighting for their right to fondle as a group of more than 20 exotic dancers protested passage of Senate Bill 16 yesterday during a press conference near the Statehouse.

The new bill proposes requiring six feet of space between dancers and customers inside of Ohio’s strip clubs.

The Dayton Daily News reported that the dancers, many dressed in pink T-shirts reading “Dancers for Democracy,” argued that the new legislation would prevent them from making a living and violate their constitutional right to free speech.

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