Sprkus

What is the deal with the one-second faucet water run that some people perform after they have used the bathroom? You know what I’m talking about?

You hear somebody in the bathroom, hopefully on accident, and you here the whoooooosh of the toilet flushing. Then a few seconds later, but way before the water has even filled the back of the toilet up, you hear that instant spray of faucet noise.

The faucet turns on, but before you even register what the noise is, the faucet’s back off again.

It’s like the person in the bathroom is trying to fool you into thinking they’ve just washed their hands. And doing a horrible job with the psyche out.

It’s almost insulting.

What good is that one second of water? They don’t even have time to get both their hands under the faucet, let alone use any amount of soap. Unless these people turn into The Flash at that very moment, I’m at a loss.

Maybe they’re just spraying off the tips of their fingers? Maybe running water over the part of their hand on which they peed? But if that’s the case, shouldn’t they be using soap?

I mean, it takes me a good 20 seconds to lather up and rinse thoroughly. Not to mention drying off.

The only thing I can come up with is that a long time ago, each one of these people finished their business, flushed, walked over to the sink and thought, “Craaaaaaaaaaaaap. I don’t feel like washing my hands now. But if they don’t hear the water running, they’ll know I didn’t. I’ll just turn the faucet on for 20 seconds.”

Over time, the faucet timing dropped to 15 seconds. Then 10. Then one millisecond.

I notice it more with guys than with girls. And maybe it’s mostly when they’re doing the old #1. I guess the act itself is so quick for guys, they want to fly right out of the bathroom as quick as they dropped their fly to begin with.

And then there are those guys that proudly proclaim they only wash their hands after they urinate if they get some on their hands.

Like the rest of us want to high five or shake the hand of Mr. Ball Sweat.

I’m definitely no germaphobe, but c’mon. If you’re one of these people that does the faucet flick, just don’t bother. You’re not fooling anyone. Flush and come straight out of the bathroom with dirty hands blazing like you’ve got a pair.