Sprkus

The following ads were posted to Craigslist.org in the Missed Connections section of Columbus. I’ve replied to each with only the line “That’s my girlfriend, asshole!” Here are the responses:

Silver 350Z Convertible on Polaris - m4w - 23
Date: 2007-08-27, 8:30PM EDT

We made eye contact several times and you smiled at me, I thought you were gorgeous but I was in a hurry and couldn’t talk. It’s a longshot, but if you see this, reply back with what car I was driving, I’d love to get to know you better =)

* Location: Polaris
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 407638739

Re: Silver 350Z Convertible on Polaris - m4w - 23

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Silver 350Z Convertible on Polaris - m4w - 23

Haha, are you serious? There’s gotta be more than just one 350Z convertible in town…

Grandview Giant Eagle tonight! - m4w - 35
Date: 2007-08-27, 8:34PM EDT

You
had a nose ring, short dark hair, amazing eyes, and a back tattoo that
I could barely see. You were with a girlfriend and you carried a 12
pack of Bud out of the store. You were looking at me and kept looking!
wow! haha, I froze. I usually don’t. I’d love to meet you. I was
wearing an addidas hat, green tshirt and grey pants. I was in the self
checkout lane.

xoxo

Z

* Location: Grandview
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 407641420

Re: Grandview Giant Eagle tonight! - m4w - 35

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Grandview Giant Eagle tonight! - m4w - 35

Ah. sorry bout that. She was lookin at me for some reason…maybe cause i’m so ugly!

Looking for a recent pic of Leslie Fisher - m4w
Date: 2007-09-04, 11:08AM EDT

Hi… I use to date Leslie Fisher(from Discover Card) in the 90’s… I miss her smile and wanted to see a recent pic of her!

No strings attached… I don’t want to meet her again… Just would love to see a pic! Do you know her? Tell her!

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 413512317

Re: Looking for a recent pic of Leslie Fisher - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Looking for a recent pic of Leslie Fisher - m4w

LOL! ok in that case…describe her

cashier at Sunflower Market - m4w - 30
Date: 2007-09-04, 8:29PM EDT

I
am the one who comes in all the time and buys black forest berry tea
from you. I love the tea, but come more often to be warmed by your
cheery smile. I was finally going to try to make conversation with you
today, but you were less friendly then usual and it through me off. I
was probably acting wierd.

I would love to talk sometime and get to know you better.

* Location: Bethel
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 414043413

Re: cashier at Sunflower Market - m4w - 30

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: cashier at Sunflower Market - m4w - 30

Sure man. Tell me her name then and describe her and i will apologize.

Jersey Mike’s in the Worthington Square - m4w
Date: 2007-09-06, 3:17PM EDT

I
was in line today behind you at Jersey Mike’s while you were awaiting
your large order for the other ladies at the office. Your order was
messed up at least once maybe twice but I was OK with that because it
gave me time to admire your beauty. You were about 5′4″ tall, shoulder
length brown hair(pulled back by your sunglasses), you were wearing a
black shirt with a white light weight sweater over top of it, you had
on faded blue jeans that hugged your luscious curves and flip flops
showing off the most beautiful manicured toes.

I was two people behind you in line and I had short brown hair, a goatee and was wearing blue jeans and a brown polo shirt.

If you remember me and you might be interested in meeting for lunch I work in the area and would like to talk to you.

* Location: Worthington Square
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 415585288

Re: Jersey Mike’s in the Worthington Square - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Jersey Mike’s in the Worthington Square - m4w

That must be why she looked so UNsatisfied, peckerhead!