Sprkus

The Transformers movie has caused me to completely regress into an 8-year-old again.

The kid was drooling on my popcorn while watching the movie in the theater. Then days later the immature little sprite forced me to go purchase the new Optimus Prime action figure (which is sweet, by the way). He justified it because he still owns and displays his original Optimus from the late 80s when the 8-year-old was in charge 100% of the time. Instead of just 2% of the time now when he gets to buy a Transformer and, well, transform it.

Tiffany even bought him Jazz.

But next month, a new line of action figures will hit the shelves of select Wal-Marts across the nation according to Orlando’s Local6.com. A line to which I may have to convert my collecting.

The Messengers of Faith

That’s right, you can buy Jesus, Mary, Noah and many others. And, I guess, reenact scenes from the bible. Talk about good, wholesome boredom entertainment!

Looking over the available figures on the Web site of One2Believe, the creators of the toys, I can’t help but remember a joke Denis Leary once said about how religious icons are always pictured with their hands to their sides, palms up. Like they’re saying, “What the fuck?”

“C’mon man, what the fuck?!? Why am I an action figure?!?”

Noah’s even more extreme than Jesus above.

And check out this massive battle between Samson and Goliath.

My inner 8-year-old is weeping in horror right now.

Like the plethora of retro 80s toys and cartoons studios are dusting off and transforming into blockbusters, look out for what’s slated to be released next in this image from Penny-Arcade:

Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang have even been updated. Somebody turned them into Manga: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5.

Apparently, even Faith Hill gets as extreme of an overhaul for the covers she shoots. I know the amount of airbrushing that goes into producing magazine covers is pretty intense, but not until you see an original photo right next to the final airbrushed version, do you grasp the level of change that really happens:

Also in the news recently, a student at Bath Spa University in Bath, UK, knitted a Ferrari with help from 20 family members and friends for her honors degree according to Ananova.com:

The knitting is supported by a steel frame which the student also constructed.

And in the U.S., people are getting extremely uptight about engineering projects that look too phallic.

In San Diego, some residents are up in arms over plans to build a 40-story tower that, they say, looks entirely too much like a penis, reports TreeHugger.com:

Not to be outdone, uptight residents in Keizer, Ore., are complaining about recently constructed parking barriers that also look to phallic, reports KomoTV.