Sprkus

The following ads were posted to Craigslist.org in the Missed Connections section of Columbus. I’ve replied to each with only the line “That’s my girlfriend, asshole!” Here are the responses:

Babe staining a desk at HD - m4w
Date: 2007-06-23, 4:22PM EDT

I hope your project staining the desk goes good… I just wanted to tell you that your hot. I should of told you right then and there.

* Location: Sawmill
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 358701109

Re: Babe staining a desk at HD - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Babe staining a desk at HD - m4w

kool

in love - m4w
Date: 2007-06-23, 5:08PM EDT

in love with heidi from 10years ago and still am today want her bad

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 358710454

Re: in love - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: in love - m4w

oH really ass hole does she live in eastside of cleveland i dont think so cuz i know where she is and it isnt in columbus she went there over the wekend thats why i possted it in there.She literally lives 5 minutes from ok so think what u say before u jump ok have a nice day asshole

Tiffany we got together on Friday night… - m4w - 28
Date: 2007-06-23, 5:37PM EDT

Hey I never got your number and would like to talk to you. Hope to hear from you…

* Location: Park and Vine
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 358746548

Re: Tiffany we got together on Friday night… - m4w - 28

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Tiffany we got together on Friday night… - m4w - 28

Mr. Planter,

I assume this is a joke. If it is, it’s really not very funny; it’s also sort of pathetic that you have nothing better to do than mess around on craiglist. The woman I met claimed to be single. If,
however, you think the woman fitting the description actually is your girlfriend, then I’d suggest you guys might want to talk.

~P

White Honda Accord - m4w - 34
Date: 2007-06-24, 1:54AM EDT

I was driving into Columbus on I-70 this evening on my motorcycle. From Zanesville to Columbus I followed a older white Honda Accord. The driver was a very cute blonde female, but there was a male passenger in the passenger seat. When the Accord exited in downtown Columbus the driver rolled down her window and waved to me, I almost followed, but I was in the wrong lane and was not sure if the passenger was a boyfriend, husband, or what.

If this is you or you know who this may be please message me.

Thanks

* Location: Hilliard
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 358981404

Re: White Honda Accord - m4w - 34

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: White Honda Accord - m4w - 34

Gary,

Thats great news, glad I found her, can you give me her contact information so I can get in touch with her.

Just kidding man, like I said in the post, I seen you in the passenger seat and was not looking for trouble, that is why I did not follow her off the exit. I did not know if you were her boyfriend, husband, or brother. This is why I posted it and was hoping to be able to email her to ask if she was single.

Dallas To St louis Friday 6-23-07 - m4w - 40
Date: 2007-06-25, 9:51AM EDT

You and I sat by each other on a flight from Dallas to St. Louis, on Friday, you had a green top on, There was a pergnant girl that sat between us, I know I’m married but I can’t you out of my mind.

* Location: St Louis
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 359724446

Re: Dallas To St louis Friday 6-23-07 - m4w - 40

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Dallas To St louis Friday 6-23-07 - m4w - 40

Well let me tell ya pal, your girlfriend is a SLUT!

Donatos Hilliard around Lunch Time - m4w - 45
Date: 2007-06-26, 4:27PM EDT

Looking for a beautiful woman that was in Donatos around lunch time with a few kids and your friend (another woman) was wearing an orange shirt.

I couldn’t stop looking at you, so yes… I forget what you were wearing.

Neither you or your friend had rings on, so hey… I’m taking a chance to see if you noticed me.

I was the guy sitting with my son along the window when you came in. I had a blue shirt and brown shorts.

If you’d like to meet sometime, please email me.

* Location: Hilliard
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 360887225

Re: Donatos Hilliard around Lunch Time - m4w - 45

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Donatos Hilliard around Lunch Time - m4w - 45

Nice try…. I already met her and we’re going out on Saturday night.

Liberty Park around 12pm - m4w
Date: 2007-06-26, 6:50PM EDT

You were wearing a white top and skirt. You drove up in a grey Honda Ridgeline, parked, and then walked. I would love to meet you. Couldn’t tell if you had a ring on, but if you want to take a chance, I’m willing. Hope my staring wasn’t to obvious.

* Location: Powell
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 360996097

Re: Liberty Park around 12pm - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Liberty Park around 12pm - m4w

I want to fuck her

sat night grandview cafe - m4w
Date: 2007-06-27, 1:01AM EDT

You were were wearing blue t-shirt, with jeans. I think you are pretty. Couldn’t get the nerve to talk to you, you were with your friends so was I. Tan in white shirt.
If you noticed then I’d like to talk.

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 361211009

Re: sat night grandview cafe - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: sat night grandview cafe - m4w

what the fuck are you talking about ASSHOLE, she was with another girl and left by herself. if she is your girlfriend, she wont be before long asshole.

Olentangy BK working at night… You’re hot… - m4w
Date: 2007-06-27, 1:57AM EDT

You’re very cute with black hair… Hopefully next time you can work the window and hand me my order… Or maybe you look on Craiglist?

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 361246113

Re: Olentangy BK working at night… You’re hot… - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Olentangy BK working at night… You’re hot… - m4w

You sure about that? What’s her name? I don’t believe you.

Crossing High & Spring 7:59 am - m4w
Date: 2007-06-27, 9:16AM EDT

white female, 30’s, tall, very sexy, you wore black pants, you had on sunglasses, you were on the phone as you crossed the street.

i’d like to give you a facial.

* Location: Downtown
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 361340246

Re: Crossing High & Spring 7:59 am - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Crossing High & Spring 7:59 am - m4w

seriously?

Unfortunately, this last guy didn’t respond to my reply, but I had to post this ad anyway. It’s hilarious. And we saw this woman when we were at the event:

Topless 300 pounder at Comfest - m4w - 22
Date: 2007-06-25, 7:53PM EDT

You were the topless 300 pound woman at Comfest on Saturday. You were not only the biggest woman there, but you pleased the crowd by not wearing anything at all whatsoever above your waste. It’s too bad I was not able to see your dinner-plate-sized nipples because they were swallowed up by the rolls of fat oozing from your lard-baring stomach. I was too intimidated to say “hi” to you and I know you will probably never see this but I really hope I can one day bask in your grotesqueness in all its glory once again.

* Location: Goodale
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 360238547