Sprkus

The following ads were posted to Craigslist.org in the Missed Connections section of Columbus. I’ve replied to each with only the line “That’s my girlfriend, asshole!” Here are the responses:

pierced girl at Arby’s in Pickerington - m4w - 26
Date: 2007-06-14, 3:15PM EDT

I don’t know if people even read these but I thought it would be worth a try. I am looking to find the heavily pierced girl that was at Arby’s in Pickerington on Wednesday night June 13 at around 8:30. She was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and plaid skirt, had double lip piercings and an eyebrow ring.

* Location: Pickerington
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 352154788

Re: pierced girl at Arby’s in Pickerington - m4w - 26

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Re: pierced girl at Arby’s in Pickerington - m4w - 26

yeah i doubt it. i think someone just wanted to be an asshole

Mona…always wanted to hook up with you - m4w - 42
Date: 2007-06-13, 9:04PM EDT

Mona….last time I saw you was at your brother inlaws birthday party a couple of years ago. He has the “happy” sounding last name. If you know his 1st and last name and his wife’s name then I will know it is you. Plus you must know my name….it is an easy one to remember….like yours is.

I have tried to hook with you several times through the years. Something always doesn’t work out….at the party last time I knew you were interested when you came and stood behind me during the party. I was pretty sure you came to the party just to see me….at least I was hoping so. I wanted to go somewhere and talk with you that night but your ex was there and he was telling everyone he was going to kick my ass if I even spoke to you. I should have spoken to you and taken my whooping…..I just know you would have been worth it. Everytime I see you, you have this ass kicking tan and that booty of yours is fucking to die for. You had on a small pair of jean shorts which showed it off to perfection……..another reason I should have taken a beating. email me at bmac111 at columbus dot rr dot com

* Location: Dublin/west side
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 351667433

Re: Mona…always wanted to hook up with you - m4w - 42

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Mona…always wanted to hook up with you - m4w - 42

Well if it was please know she got her ass pinned to the bed last night …..but I know it aint you cuz she wasnt worried about no guy named gary…..and neither was I…..his name was different fag boy…..so retire back to mommy and daddy’s basement where you live and sleep after your shift at taco bell and take that tiny penis of yours in hand and WISH you had a girl like mona faggot

the girl with the awesome dress - m4w - 22
Date: 2007-06-11, 3:13PM EDT

it was friday night, you were with your friends and i was lost looking for the lodge bar with a friend. you were wearing this sexy red dress with white dots and a cute smile. we saw each other at random times just walking around bar hopping. hope you read this, i would love to take you out

* Location: vine street festival
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 349813568

Re: the girl with the awesome dress - m4w - 22

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: the girl with the awesome dress - m4w - 22

lol, bullshit

Red Dress Babe at Dolphins - m4w - 48
Date: 2007-06-12, 8:32AM EDT

I said how great you looked in red. You smile, said thanks but couldn’t say more as the attendant returned. Shoot me an email if you’d like to explore.

* Location: Columbus
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 350195184

Re: Red Dress Babe at Dolphins - m4w - 48

That’s my girlfriend, ashole!

Re:Re: Red Dress Babe at Dolphins - m4w - 48

Dude … you need to learn how to take care of your woman as she was just begging for attention. When was the last time you went down on her for an hour or two & got her off a few times?? Sounds like you need to put her needs first instead of your own. CD

Dime a dog nite - m4w - 38
Date: 2007-06-12, 12:18PM EDT

To the lady at last nite’s Clippers game with her 3 kids in the upper deck.Madras Plaid capris,sweater around your neck,white blouse showing your wonderfully flat tummy.I’m sitting behind you with my freinds and couldn’t say much but how i’d love to have met you.

You are beautiful and obviously a great mom to be with your little ones(girls especially) at a baseball game.

How about a second chance at an introduction?

* Location: columbus
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 350484503

Re: Dime a dog nite - m4w - 38

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Dime a dog nite - m4w - 38

good for you then brother!!

Meijers parking lot Tuesday morning - m4w
Date: 2007-06-12, 1:39PM EDT

Attractive lady, lime top in a dark red Hyundae? I was in yellow plaid shirt doing the same as you….cigarette and coffee that is. If you are unattached, I’d like to meet you.

* Location: Sawmill
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 350554653

Re: Meijers parking lot Tuesday morning - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Meijers parking lot Tuesday morning - m4w

soon to change dickhead

Black Rebel Motocycle Club show - m4w - 20
Date: 2007-06-12, 4:28PM EDT

I saw you at these places and you were beautiful. You have a dead tree tattoo. I followed you from Skully’s because I thought you were leaving but you ended-up just getting something from your car and it seemed super creepy of me to follow. I was just going to tell you that I thought you were absolutely pretty. I live in Brooklyn, NY so it wasn’t an attempt to pick you up really. You are pretty. That is all.

* Location: The Newport/Skully’s
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 350701031

Re: Black Rebel Motocycle Club show - m4w - 20

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Black Rebel Motocycle Club show - m4w - 20

She is pretty good looking. Congrats.

Your spotted bikini & pierced belly button by the pool yesterday - m4w
Date: 2007-06-13, 11:14AM EDT

Will you be back today? I’ll be there. Hope to see you when you finish work.

I really enjoyed the conversation.

* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 351220191

Re: Your spotted bikini & pierced belly button by the pool yesterday - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Your spotted bikini & pierced belly button by the pool yesterday - m4w

You mean “was” your girlfriend. Apparently, catching you in the act of exchanging blowjobs with your drunk buddy has left a bad taste in her mouth (to to speak).

girl in gray pants on skateboard - m4w - 19
Date: 2007-06-13, 4:03PM EDT

i saw you downtown on a stakeboard on tuesday…you were beautiful…you had gray pants on and you were in front of the convention center

* Location: downtown columbus
* it’s ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 351459441

Re: girl in gray pants on skateboard - m4w - 19

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: girl in gray pants on skateboard - m4w - 19

i didn’t say i wanted to get with her…. i just said she was beautiful

Thick chick at Gahanna YMCA Wednesday night - m4w - 37
Date: 2007-06-13, 11:01PM EDT

YOU: Cute, thick chick on treadmill/weight area from 8:45 to 9:45 P.M.
ME: Guy with longish brown hair on eliptical machine.
We walked in together. I would love to see you after your next workout to give you a serious rub-down and massage. Game?

* Location: Columbus
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 351736102

Re: Thick chick at Gahanna YMCA Wednesday night - m4w - 37

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Thick chick at Gahanna YMCA Wednesday night - m4w - 37

PROOF!

Jill, Spinning Instructor at Premiere - m4w
Date: 2007-06-14, 8:48AM EDT

you instruct class on tuesdays and thursdays after noon. would love to ask you out, but don’t want to make class uncomfortable. show me a sign.

* Location: sawmill
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 351891193

Re: Jill, Spinning Instructor at Premiere - m4w

I told you already, that’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Jill, Spinning Instructor at Premiere - m4w

You have the wrong Jill, she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

Graceland Krogers!!!!! - m4w
Date: 2007-06-14, 12:19PM EDT

I couldn’t take my eyes off you in Krogers. You with your pink sheer top around 10:30 pm Monday night the 12th of June. I know you noticed me making eye contact. You were absolutly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Please write!!

* Location: North Columbus
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 352022148

Re: Graceland Krogers!!!!! - m4w

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Graceland Krogers!!!!! - m4w

Gary,
Fine specimen and she actually answered me. Better get a grip on her!

DC Salsa Congress Sunday night - m4w - 36
Date: 2007-06-14, 3:16PM EDT

We danced a few times it was very nice and hot. You apologized for being inappropriate, I did not mind. You invited me to move to Columbus. :o) We never got to dance Bachata. I wore on stone washed jeans and a light multi-colored shirt, very close hair cut and I dipped you once or twice! Contact me, maybe I’ll at least visit rather than move.

* Location: DC MD
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 352163379

Re: DC Salsa Congress Sunday night - m4w - 36

That’s my girlfriend, fashion-clueless asshole!

Re:Re: DC Salsa Congress Sunday night - m4w - 36

Gary,
1) Jackass, I doubt we are talking about the same female
2) If I’m the the asshole, why is YOUR girl making those offers so shut up!
3) As for my clue-less fashion, you are the dumb stupid asshole.

But again, I doubt we are even talking about the same girl, she said she was single. Be smart next time and save the insult and find out the facts. What’s your girlfriend’s name? Long hair or short? The one I’m speaking about had short hair and worked for OSU, she had on a greenish print top with black “goucho” like pants. If that’s your girlfriend, don’t insult me, talk to her.

Are you thinking what I am thinking? - m4w - 28
Date: 2007-06-18, 12:24AM EDT

You live right across from me in the apartments near High and Morse. You have dark hair and a great body. We’ve seen each other a couple of times, exchanged stares and smiles … but nothing more.

I’m not sure, but I think you might live with a guy here. Let me know if you are interested in “meeting” sometime.

* Location: North end of Clintonville
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 354431977

Re: Are you thinking what I am thinking? - m4w - 28

That’s my girlfriend, asshole!

Re:Re: Are you thinking what I am thinking? - m4w - 28

Cool, so you don’t mind then?

Previously: That’s My Girlfriend, Asshole! Vol. 2, That’s My Girlfriend, Asshole!.