“Fort Wayne, Indiana! Wow, my career’s REALLY taking off.”
A stand up comedian opened his show with that line Saturday and I laughed my ass off.
If you went to visit B.A., you would understand.
Let’s just say the city’s about 10 years behind the times.
But in its defense, mullets (shown right), cougars and pimps all come together and seem to get along.
Maybe it’s because Piere’s is the only club in Fort Wayne. I’m still not sure.
“Cougar,” to describe an old single woman prowling the bar scene, is a relatively new term to me and I don’t know if it’s supposed to have a negative connotation or a positive one — like “milf” for example. For this post mean it as a pure insult.
We shot the photo of the old bag above about 30 minutes before she took over the silhouette curtain that the club allows partygoers to dance behind.
It wasn’t pretty:
I gotta say, there was some prime time people watching that night.
Tiffany got asked by a girl who had to be a stripper if she would dance on the bar with her. Tiffany differed the question to me and I politely shot down that Idea.
An hour later, the club’s MC — you know, the guy who screams into a microphone all night to try and convince the crowd they’re having a better time than they actually are — approached me directly about the same topic.
MC: Hey, you mind if borrow your girlfriend real quick?
Me: For what, to dance on the stage?
MC: The bar.
Me: I… don’t think so.
MC: I can put her on my shoulder and carry her up there.
Me: Uh. You can ask her, but I don’t think she’ll want to.
Tiffany: No thanks, we’re just visiting. We’re not from around here.
MC: Where are you guys from?:
Tiffany: Ohio.
Me: Columbus.
MC (Walking away): That explains it.
Apparently being an Indiana-an (or would that be Indian?) gives boyfriends the right to order big bald guys to physically force their girlfriends to dance on stage. And Indiana guys like watching their girlfriends dance like strippers in front of hundreds of other dudes.
Although there’s a touch of comfort knowing that there’s still somewhere to go in America where men are the supreme beings, I opted out. I guess I’m not man enough.
The night before, we took it easy and hung out at B.A. & Jenn’s house. B.A. & I started… and then finished a bottle of Glenlivet scotch. Then tried to play Cranium.
Humorous indeed:
oh, and The BA footage is funny, but where is the Markus footage, that had to be hillarious, hook a brotha up
wow, Fort Wayne sounds alot like my new home town, well Just like my town, it is taking on a personality of being called Blue-Ugly….yee haw….. that shit is soo funny though man, the MC’s response, as if suburbia USA has been been nixed from the memory of all redneck americans, or what’s the politically correct version, oh, small town americans—– hey it inspired Tom Petty though, so hmmmmmm
You’re absolutely right. There’s another video of us trying to “cameo” a jetpack that I should post.