Sprkus

Recent news has skewed toward the foul lately as feces seems to be up to its usual shenanigans.

Earlier this month in Beijing, China, a woman fell off her sixth-floor balcony only to be saved by a pile of excrement. The report published on Yahoo! News said that workers were emptying a septic tank when the woman fell into the 20-centimeter-think collection of… poo.

The story is humorously similar to a verse in a song called “Shaving Cream” written in 1946 by Benny Bell during which a baby falls out of a window only to be saved by a barrel of sh…aving cream. I’ve included a video of the song at the end of this post.

Even more vile, the Southeast Texas Record reported last week that a settlement had finally been reached involving a woman that was shitting out of her vagina (I tried to avoid the “s” word, but I just can’t help myself). After complaining of pains in the area of her uterus, Sarah Blake awoke one morning to find feces in her vagina.

Blake and her husband sued an on-call doctor who had performed an episiotomy during the delivery of their child prior to the discovery. During an episiotomy, a doctor cuts the tissue between the vagina and the anus to make more room for the baby to pass. Apparently that opening was not sewn up properly.

In other gruesome news, a crocodile bit off a veterinarian’s arm while he was was reaching through a gate to remove tranquilizer darts from the reptile as reported by NationalGeographic.com. View the pics: 1 | 2.

Clearly the vet should have shot a few more darts into the beast first. Luckily for the vet, doctors were able to reattach the arm after seven hours of surgery.