Monthly Archive for March, 2007

America Has Fallen

Published
by
Rick
on March 7, 2007
in In The News
. 1 Comment

Captain AmericaAs if America didn’t already have it bad enough under the leadership of George W. Bush and the rest of his cohorts, the New York Daily News reports that Captain America was shot and killed today while exiting a courthouse.

Originally created in 1941 to battle comic book mega supervillain Adolf Hitler, Captain America stayed strong through the Cold War, Persian Gulf War and metrosexualism.

Perhaps comic book company Marvel didn’t think he fit into the present day war on terrorism, or perhaps it’s a literal commentary on the America of today violently dieing on cold cement steps.

But more importantly, who’s going to fight comic book Osama now?

Pirates Level Battlefield Against Ninjas

Published
by
Rick
on March 6, 2007
in In The News
. 0 Comments

Priates Vs. NinjasIn the titanic struggle for world domination between pirates and ninjas, pirates scored a huge victory today as the London Daily Telegraph reports England will ban samurai swords.

The samurai sword, used by ninjas for thousands of years, is the shadow hunters’ primary tool of death. Soon British ninjas will be forced to use only sai, nunchuks and obnoxious noises.

The ban targets cheap imitation samurai swords only, a saving grace for England’s die hard ninjas. Genuine swords made by licensed swordsmiths in Japan will be exempt.

“I’m glad they saw the light,” said Fred Phillips who has been a ninja for three years. “The true ninjas like me, the ones who sacrifice themselves by living in their parents’ basements to save $650 for an authentic samurai sword … are all that are needed to overcome the vile pirate scourge.”

The ban comes just months after the ninjas got an upper hand over the pirates by detonating GoodWood Industries, the world’s largest producer of peg legs.

A New Hope

Published
by
Rick
on March 2, 2007
in Life
. 0 Comments

Little Bad Ass

Reports from the rebel base on Yavin IV indicate this Imperial I Star Destroyer (circled in red) was spotted at 84-35-299 of Yavin’s space sector. Rumors of accelerated Imperial aggressiveness appear to be validated.

Ahem, excuse me.

All reports out of Indy are positive as B.A. indicates baby Flanagan’s heartbeat is strong. Also confirmed by the doctor, little Flanagan, like father, prefers to go sleeveless.

Previously: Bad Ass Soldier.

My Super Sweet Crime Scene

Published
by
Rick
on March 1, 2007
in In The News
. 0 Comments

Real Life MovieAs if stolen from a scene in “Sugar & Spice,” a particularly bland 2001 movie about a group of high school cheerleaders that resort to robbing banks, The Associated Press this morning reported that Georgia police were searching for two young women who robbed a supermarket bank branch.

Just after noon on Tuesday, the women, possibly teenagers, demanded cash by handing the Bank of America teller a note, smiled while waiting, then left with the money.

Police say the amount of money stolen was “considerable” and the women could be as young as 16.

Cobb County police spokesman officer Wayne Delk said one of the girls was laughing during the robbery as though “”it’s all fun and games to them.”

I do not endorse robbing banks, or any crime for that matter, but I can’t say I’m not intrigued by this story. Bad-ass sugary sweet 16-year-olds robbing banks? Part of me hopes they get away with it. The other part only thinks it’s a great movie idea. If written well.

UPDATE (March 2): The women, Ashley Miller and Heather Johnston, were arrested Thursday, March 1, along with two others. Making the story less interesting, the women are 19, not 16, and the bank teller, 27-year old Michael Chastang, was in on the crime. The fourth person arrested was Benny Herman Allen III, 22, who was in a car with the girls when they were arrested. The three were charged with felony theft and marijuana possession, which despite the fact that they were 19, is still a little bad ass.