In the titanic struggle for world domination between pirates and ninjas, pirates scored a huge victory today as the London Daily Telegraph reports England will ban samurai swords.
The samurai sword, used by ninjas for thousands of years, is the shadow hunters’ primary tool of death. Soon British ninjas will be forced to use only sai, nunchuks and obnoxious noises.
The ban targets cheap imitation samurai swords only, a saving grace for England’s die hard ninjas. Genuine swords made by licensed swordsmiths in Japan will be exempt.
“I’m glad they saw the light,” said Fred Phillips who has been a ninja for three years. “The true ninjas like me, the ones who sacrifice themselves by living in their parents’ basements to save $650 for an authentic samurai sword … are all that are needed to overcome the vile pirate scourge.”
The ban comes just months after the ninjas got an upper hand over the pirates by detonating GoodWood Industries, the world’s largest producer of peg legs.
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